“boys will be bo-“
*punches you in the face*
bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
we will not.
you will do so or i’ll shove responsibility so far up your ass you’ll taste tax bills for weeks
you’re going to be such a lovely parent.
today i saw this cute cop and my first thought was “damn i would tap that ass so bad” and then he laughed and came closer to me and i thought i did something bad and i couldn’t think what was it and when he started talking i took off my headphones and he said “that was quite a compliment young lady” and in that moment i realizED I SAY THAT OUT LOUD AND FUCK MY LIFE AND WHY MUST I HAVE A MOUTH WITH NO FILTER
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
reblog if you ARE gay, if you SUPPORT gays, or if you like to OPEN people’s WINDOWS in the middle of the NIGHT and put DOZENS of GEESE in their BEDROOMS. Let’s show the world that there’s a 1 in 3 chance that we’re kind of a dangerous person to be around.